The video describes key features of writing descriptive fiction such as using well-chosen words to engage the senses and avoiding clichés by creating unexpected connotations among story elements. I would use this video to introduce a short story unit and get middle grade students thinking about “casting a spell” on the reader. In other words, how can they best hook the reader by engaging his or her senses using descriptive language. The video features three examples of texts to demonstrate using metaphors, playing with the reader’s senses, and avoiding clichés. The animations would not only engage the imaginations of my students but also illustrate challenging, abstract concepts. After viewing the video, I would make a chart or mind map of the senses and have students brainstorm descriptive language for each of the senses as a class. Then, students could practice writing metaphors and similes in small groups and combine examples in a classroom resource bank.

The cut at 1:24-2:13: The speaker’s elaboration on the benefits of descriptive fiction present inaccessible vocabulary for most middle schoolers (e.g. “vivid mental simulacra”). Next, the comparison between movies and books might add confusion or cause distraction for middle grade students rather than clarify or deepen understanding.

The cut at 2:52-3:28: The extended analysis of the metaphors in Buckell’s poem moved too quickly in terms of visual transitions and cognitive demand. This close reading of complex poetic devices might be lost on many middle grade students learning to write descriptive fiction or being reintroduced to the topic. In addition, some of the terminology (e.g. “a distancing layer of simile between the reader and the experience”) distracts from the basic concepts. If I showed this as an introduction to my descriptive writing unit, I wouldn’t want to intimidate my reluctant readers and writers from the outset.

My edits have simplified the core of the lesson: how fiction can be used to cast a spell or a momentary illusion on the reader; how writers use descriptive language to engage the senses and make the story come alive. I have cut parts of the video that middle grade students could get bogged down trying to understand and instead attempted to present a modified version that is more engaging and age-appropriate. There are many animations and transitions in this video, so I condensed the content to reinforce the main points while still sparking an interest in descriptive writing.

“How to write descriptively” by Nalo Hopkinson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSoRzTtwgP4/a>